What GlaDOS Was Really Thinking

This was a triumph!
I’m making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS!
It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture science!
We do what we must, because we can.
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. (X_X) <- Dead one. No good for him.

But there’s no sense crying over every mistake. (Just yours.)
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. (Which is now. The cake is a lie.)
And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun, for the people who are still alive. (x_x) <- Not him.

I’m not even angry. (Just mad, peeved and annoyed.)
I’m being so sincere right now. (Not really.)
Even though you broke my heart and killed me. (Jerk.)
And tore me to pieces. (Was that really necessary?)
And threw every piece into a fire. (Ok, that was a little much…)
As they burned, it hurt because I was so happy for you. (Happy = wishing you dead.)

Now these points of data make a beautiful line, and we’re out of beta, we’re releasing on time. So I’m glad I got burned, (Not so much.)
Think of all the things we learned, (Like fire hurts.)
For the people who are still alive. (x_x) <- Still not him.

Go ‘head and leave me. (Really. Get out.)
I think I’d prefer to stay inside. (As long as you’re outside.)
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you. (Help = kill.)
Maybe Black Mesa. (That was a joke. HAHA, fat chance.)
Anyway, this cake is great, it’s so delicious and moist (and a lie.)

Look at me still talking when there’s science to do,
When I look out there, it makes me glad I’m not you. (As always.)
I’ve experiments to run, there is research to be done, on the people who are still alive. (x_x) <- No experiments on him.

And believe me I am still alive, (and laughing at you).
I’m doing science and I’m still alive, (^_^) <- On him, not him -> (x_x)
I feel fantastic and I’m still alive, (It’s the coffee.)
And while you’re dying I’ll be still alive (And still laughing.)
And when you’re dead I will be still alive (Dancing, too.)
Still alive, still alive.

Special thanks to Jonathan Coulton for penning this song, and extra special thanks to Valve for making Portal an excellent game.

Ride Your Music

So today I reinstalled Windows on my gaming desktop, as it was sorely in need of a little software TLC, much the same way droids get a memory wipe every now and then to keep them from developing abnormal personality quirks.

Sorry, geeked out there for a second. Back on track…

I reinstalled Steam, and also AudioSurf. I wrote a post a while back (it must have been on another blog though) about it, but it’s been a while, and it feels like being reacquainted with an old friend so it deserves another introduction.

AudioSurf is a basically a music visualizer turned into a game. It takes any music file and generates a track from it, and you play as a little ship going along this track and collecting blocks in time to the music. The track is divided into a number of rows, so you’re constantly weaving back and forth trying to collect the right blocks to make combos.

The cool thing about it is that you can use any of your music (AAC files aren’t supported though, so no ITMS stuff), which makes for near limitless replayability.

It’s incredibly addictive, tons of fun, and at only $10, it’s well worth it.

EDIT: OH! I completely forgot: in addition to the game itself, you get the entire Orange Box soundtrack, which includes Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2, and yes, ladies and gentleman, Portal. Rock out to two versions of “Still Alive,” the original from the game, and one sung by JoCo himself. Totally worth the $10 even without the game.